One minute your little one is happily building a tower, the next they're in a heap on the floor because it fell over. Sound familiar? Big feelings are a normal part of growing up, but for young children they can feel enormous, especially when they don't yet have the words to explain what's going on inside.
The good news is that naming feelings is a skill, and like most skills, it grows through practice. And the easiest place to practise is somewhere children already feel safe and confident: play. Here are a few gentle, screen-free ways to start.
Why naming feelings matters
When a child can say "I'm frustrated" instead of throwing the block, something shifts. Putting a word to a feeling helps children make sense of it, and it helps you understand what they need. Over time, a growing feelings vocabulary can support calmer moments, better communication and more empathy for the people around them. It won't make meltdowns disappear overnight (nothing does!), but it gives your child a tool they'll use for life.
1. Start with the big four
You don't need to teach twenty emotions at once. Begin with happy, sad, angry and scared. Point them out in everyday moments: "You look so happy on the swing!" or "That loud noise made you feel scared." Once these feel familiar, gently add words like frustrated, proud, nervous and excited.
2. Make feelings something you can see and touch
Feelings are invisible, which is exactly why they're tricky for little ones. Giving them a face and a shape makes them easier to talk about. Our Emotions Magnet Set ($32) includes 36 colourful emotion magnets that children can pick up, move around and point to when words are hard to find. Pop them on the Magnetic Playwall™, the fridge or any magnetic surface so they're always within reach.
3. Try a daily feelings check-in
Build a little moment into your routine, maybe at breakfast or after school pick-up, where your child chooses the magnet that matches how they feel. Keep it light and curious: "Ooh, you picked tired. What made today a tired day?" There's no right or wrong answer. The goal is simply to make talking about feelings feel normal and safe. If you already use a routine chart, the check-in slots in nicely alongside the Routine Magnet Set.
4. Play "guess the feeling"
Take turns pulling a funny, sad or surprised face and letting the other person guess which emotion it is, then find the matching magnet. Kids love catching you out, and it's a playful way to practise reading facial expressions, which is an important part of understanding how others feel.
5. Let stories and pretend play do the work
Children often find it easier to talk about a character's feelings than their own. While reading or playing pretend, ask simple questions: "How do you think the bear feels now?" or "What could we do to help her feel better?" Imaginative toys like the Little Role Players Felt Busy Book are lovely for this, because every role and scene opens up a new little story. (You can read more about why imaginative play is your child's secret superpower.)
6. Name your own feelings out loud
Little ones learn so much from watching us. Saying "I'm feeling a bit frustrated because I can't find my keys, so I'm going to take a big breath" shows them that everyone has big feelings, and that there are calm ways to handle them. You don't need to be perfect at this. Even trying is a wonderful example.
7. Talk about it once the storm has passed
In the middle of a meltdown, your child needs comfort, not a lesson. Once everyone is calm again, you might revisit it together: "Earlier you felt really angry when your tower fell. Which magnet shows that feeling?" Coming back to it gently helps your child connect the feeling to the word without any pressure.
Small moments, big growth
Helping your child understand their feelings doesn't have to be a big project. A few minutes of play, a quick check-in and plenty of patience can go a long way. Every time they point to a magnet or say "I'm sad" instead of lashing out, that's a small win worth celebrating. And remember, you're doing a great job.
Ready to bring feelings into play?
Start with the Emotions Magnet Set ($32) for everyday check-ins, or pair it with the Magnetic Playwall™ (from $89) to create a calm, dedicated space for your child to play, explore and express themselves. For more ideas, take a look at our guide on how to encourage independent play. Less Screens, More Play™.
